Marriage

Lessons From A Dysfunctional Marriage (Part B)

No comments

Continued from the previous post

So far, Jacob’s love for his wife, Rachel demonstrates to us that love can exist even in a dysfunctional marriage. This man did some unexpected things for his wife.

Application for husbands:

Husbands, love your wives.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, – Ephesians 5:25

 

You can love your wife even when she is complicated to deal with. Rachel was not easy to love. She seemed to want everything and then some; never content.

Your wife is designed and wired to receive your love. She has that as a basic need. Love is not an emotion, but an act of the will. You must be captivated by something deeper than just the physical attributes of your wife – something about her character, inner beauty and the decision you made to love her – that is how Christ loves the church. He valued us to the extent that He was willing to die for our sake – and He did! Your love will lead you to treat your wife as something valuable and precious to you. Your love will direct you to invest in and pay a price for her.

How much are you willing to spend on her?

How much time are you willing to spend with her?

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so patient that it didn’t consider her complexity

One would think that Rachel was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside, but that is far from true. She is not the best example of a wife. In addition to being a thief and a liar , she was an envious woman. Rachel had everything that a woman would want – great physical appearance, married from wealth into wealth, and husband’s love. Can you imagine, the man wept for her, but she was never satisfied. She had what her sister didn’t have and she wanted what her sister had. Greed!

 

Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” – Genesis 30:1

A spirit of discontentment can lead one to live a miserable life – always grumbling and complaining. So, to fulfill her own desires, on two occasions she gave Bilhah, her maid, to Jacob to have children with. She named the second son Naphtali because she wrestled with Leah.

3 So she said, “Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, and she will bear a child on my knees, that I also may have children by her.” 4 Then she gave him Bilhah her maid as wife, and Jacob went in to her. 5 And Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. 6 Then Rachel said, “God has judged my case; and He has also heard my voice and given me a son.” Therefore she called his name Dan. 7 And Rachel’s maid Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. 8 Then Rachel said, “With great wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister, and indeed I have prevailed.” So she called his name Naphtali. – Genesis 30:3-8

Contentious woman?

 

Rachel wants even what Leah’s 4-year-old child had collected. When Leah questions her behavior, Rachel puts a ‘payment’ on it. She was aware that Leah was empty of her husband’s love.

14 Now Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”

15 But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes also?”

And Rachel said, “Therefore he will lie with you tonight for your son’s mandrakes.” – Genesis 30:14-15

Calculating and conniving woman?

Eventually, Rachel conceives and bears a son. She names her first son Joseph, which means God will add me another (Genesis 30:24). One would think she would be so grateful that her problems would cease.

Discontentment is a spirit

The spirit of discontentment can cut short one’s life. It led to Rachel’s death when she was bearing a second son. She was so dissatisfied that she wanted even what her father had. Remember we mentioned earlier that Rachel stole from her father (without Jacob’s knowledge). The idols she stole were the equivalent of the title deeds of the possessions of Laban. As they left Laban’s home he pursued them to recover his idols and this offended Jacob, who unknowingly placed a curse on his wife, saying, “With whomever you find your gods, do not let him live” . (Genesis 31:33-35).

Discontentment or dissatisfaction is an issue of the heart. It has nothing to do with what you have or don’t have in your life. Believe it or not, contentment is not about the amount of money you have in the bank or how educated you are or how many children you have.

How is your contentment level as a wife?

Are you a satisfied woman?

Are you always murmuring and complaining?

 

14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, – Philippians 2:14

 

After their release from bondage, the children of Israel allowed the spirit of discontentment to creep in among them. They complained.

 

That night all the members of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. 2 All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, “If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness! 3 Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” – Numbers 14:1-3

Are you always comparing yourself with others and have to always be #1?

This is a killer of most marriages today: competing with others and comparing yourself with them.

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. – 1Timothy 6:6

 

May God bless your heart so that you will be content and save your marriage.

leslyicdigitalLessons From A Dysfunctional Marriage (Part B)
read more

Lessons From A Dysfunctional Marriage (Part A)

No comments

Soap operas can be interesting and a little far-fetched, too. When I was younger, I enjoyed watching them but as I got older, wiser and busier, they’re no longer my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I still get a good share of them from the Bible. The story of Jacob and Rachel Genesis 29:1-12 is one of such soaps.

The story of Jacob, the swindler, who later God changed his name to Israel, spans a whole ten chapters of the book of Genesis. Chapter 27 gives an account of how he received his blessing from his father, Isaac by treachery. Although old and dim sighted, Isaac could tell that something wasn’t right when Jacob presented himself for the blessing; the voice and skin texture didn’t match. Nevertheless, Isaac must have remembered this prophecy:

 

23 And the Lord said to her:

“Two nations are in your womb,
Two peoples shall be separated from your body;
One people shall be stronger than the other,
And the older shall serve the younger.” – Genesis 25:23

 

After usurping his brother, Esau, (Genesis 27:36) to avoid his wrath, Jacob escapes to his maternal uncle, Laban’s home. (This is the same Laban who negotiated Rebekah’s dowry when Eliezar was sent by Abraham to find a wife for Isaac.)

In the East, he arrives by a well where he meets some people; they engage in a conversation and he learns that they knew Laban. They also inform him that the shepherdess who was coming in their direction is Rachel, Laban’s daughter. Jacob tries to get these people to water the sheep and then go feed them, but they say that they’re waiting for everyone else to come so that (in numbers) the stone can be rolled for the flock to be watered. Translation: Man, this stone is too heavy for the few of us – we can’t, so let’s wait for more manpower.

 

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so deep that it could wait

 

Jacob sees Rachel and is instantly love-struck and energized. Not waiting, he rolls the stone all by himself and waters Rachel’s sheep (Genesis 29:10)! Then kisses[i] Rachel, and weeps aloud (Genesis 29:11).

Far from infatuation, Jacob’s love propels him to offer to work (without pay) for 7 years for Rachel’s hand in marriage.

 

20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her. – Genesis 29:11

 

Isn’t it noteworthy that true love CAN wait?

 

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so determined that it could never give up

 

Something bizarre happens and Jacob ends up with the wrong woman.

 

25 So it came to pass in the morning, that behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?” – Genesis 29:25

 

The swindler has just been swindled! Unbelievably, Jacob doesn’t throw in the towel. He serves Laban still another seven years for the love of his life (Genesis 29:30b).

 

To what lengths can you go for the woman that you love?

 

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so considerate that it could protect

 

After being married many years, when time came to leave Laban’s and journey back home, Jacob’s love for Rachel can be seen in how he planned the procession. He puts Rachel behind everybody so that should they come in the face of danger, the last shall be saved. He protected her and the sons she bore to him Genesis 33:2.

 

Jacob’s love for Rachel was so patient that it could endure

 

Suffice to mention here that Rachel’s initial struggle with infertility was not an issue for Jacob. He loved her, regardless.

 

Is your wife conscious of your love right now? Does she sense anger, bitterness or coldness from you today or is it love?

 

At 147 years old, Jacob was still talking about Rachel, who had died many years before.

 

7 But as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died beside me in the land of Canaan on the way, when there was but a little distance to go to Ephrath; and I buried her there on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem).” – Genesis 48:7

 

Rachel was not forgotten by Jacob.

 

Continue reading here.

**************************************************************************************

[i] This kiss is the kind of holy kiss mentioned in 2 Corinthians13:12, Romans 16:16, 1 Peter 5:14 – it is not sexual

leslyicdigitalLessons From A Dysfunctional Marriage (Part A)
read more

Great Lessons From a Failed Marriage

No comments

David was  a man after God’s own heart, but he’s not what we can call a good example of a husband, seeing as he had a failed marriage. From 1 Samuel 18:17-28 we are told that after the woman he had been promised was given to another man, David married her sister, Michal. This arrangement, as well as the previous one, was made by Saul, Michal’s father – David’s father-in-law.

From the word go, Saul had ill-intentions toward David (that had nothing to do with his daughters) but he devised a way to use his own daughter to try and kill him. It is apparent that he was a selfish in-law and we can learn some lessons here.

3 Lessons to Learn From David and Michal’s Marriage

I. In-laws, when given a chance, can completely destroy a marriage.

Apart from Saul not giving Merab to David as initially promised, he sought to kill him (David). This must have hurt David he had trouble forgiving Saul. Michal, however, had done the right thing – giving priority to her marriage by saving her husband from harm. Yet, David did not separate/set apart Michal from Saul – he imposed the sins of her father on her. It didn’t matter that his wife had no control over the deeds of her father. David should have been able to see Michal as a separate individual from her father.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

Marriage never works until a couple, both, leave their parents to cleave to each other. Different strictures come into play because a new completely independent family unit has been created, not added to the existing of either side. The parent-child relationship changes; it does not deteriorate but is adjusted within new bounds. Yet, it doesn’t absolve the couple from certain specific God-given assignments, such as taking care of a widowed mother or an incapacitated parent. Honoring parents is something that will continue to be in play even as the marriage is lived out, but it should not be enslaving. It must be done in agreement and order of priority and not at the expense of your nuclear family. In the same vein, parents are now no longer as responsible as they were over their grown and married children. They cannot run the new home – a margin that David failed to draw.

II. A marriage cannot thrive or succeed without the love of a husband for his wife.

Michal is the first and only woman to be said to love her husband. After risking her life and saving him from death, David abandoned her. For 10 years, he never came back nor send for her to join him. In addition, he married other wives when he was in exile. Don’t you think news must have come back to Michal? I think so. Consequently, she must have been deeply hurt to the point where her love turned to bitterness, anger, and even hatred. Here was a woman who lacked security in her husband’s love.

Meanwhile, David is enjoying victory upon victory. On this instance, he succeeds in bringing the Ark back to Jerusalem. He is overjoyed and returns to bless his household only to be met by Michal Unloved!

“Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul come out to meet David, and said, ‘How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!’” – 2 Samuel 6:20

She is not even concerned about the things of God at this point. She despises David in her heart. She is disturbed about how the maids looked at him. She is jealous and insecure because David is not affectionate toward her.

Earlier, in David’s absentia, she had been married off to Paltiel for several years. All was quiet and peaceful. She was doing well in that house and they loved each other – until David shows up to claim her and Paltiel is devastated. He weeps for her.

“Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, ‘Go, return!’ And he returned.” – 2 Samuel 3:16

Beware! The wife you don’t value and cherish could thrive in another man’s house where there is love.

The bitterness in Michal had eroded her love for God. She develops a demeaning attitude toward her husband. She is more concerned with how the royal family looks before men rather than before God. Accordingly, out of the abundance of her heart, Michal speaks and snuffs out the life of her future.

If you are single, be careful how you worship. Make sure your spouse-to-be loves God and worships as you do. Otherwise, you will have problems.

Do you love your wife? Can she say yes if we asked her that question in public?

III. Every man wants to be celebrated at home.

When Michal spoke with sarcasm against David’s worship, he responded thus:

“And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor.” – 2 Samuel 6:22

David acknowledged the celebration, honor, respect and admiration of maids (commoners) rather than the dishonor and bashing from a queen!

This dishonor severed and separated the two and they never enjoyed intimacy again until she died. This is implied in 2 Samuel 6:23.

David is showered with celebration everywhere except in his own home.

Do you celebrate your husband?

leslyicdigitalGreat Lessons From a Failed Marriage
read more

Let Your Kids Fall

No comments

I was recently asked to read a stack of essays for an annual college scholarship. The essays were short biographies of the students, their involvement in their communities, and their goals for the future. Most of the essays were amazing, in fact I was surprised by the accomplishments of the students, the extra curricular activities they were involved with, and the goals they had set out for themselves. Some wanted to be doctors, others lawyers, architects, and scientists. I felt that our future looked bright knowing that these were our future leaders.

The only problem was some of the essays had been written by the parents. Some of the essays discussed parents involvement with their kids, what they saw their kids accomplishing, and the type of career they wanted for the them. How do I know? Because, when asked the kids could not express the same type of sentiment nor express such eloquence in presenting their future plans

I was reminded of the type of love new parents have for their kids. Like most parents, they have this inherent need to protect them. It starts from a young age with wanting to make sure our kids aren’t hurt. The way they hold their new borns is as though the baby is as fragile as an egg. I remember one of my friends did this, in fact she often gave us such a mean look when we carried her first born that we would hesitate to even hold her.

Eventually she had a second baby and it was like night and day. As the second born cried she continued cooking. When I picked her up immediately after hearing her cry she insisted that I should let her cry.

“After all, it’s good for her.” She replied “She can’t get everything she wants.”

I couldn’t believe it was the same parent! Later she would let her kids run around even if we knew they might fall, sometimes she offered to help them up and other times she kissed their wounds. She always focused on what she thought was best for both of them, whether it was the confidence to ride a bike even if it came with a few falls and bruises, or to solve a math problem.

As I was reading the essays I realized these parents also wanted what was best for their kids, to go to the best university, have the best career, and get the best job. Unfortunately, they were doing more harm than they realized.

Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 1 Peter 5:3

Being an example means leading by teaching. While I realized the parents of these teens had good intentions, writing their essays meant they were not leading by example but rather did not trust them enough to let them write about their goals and desires. It also meant that they were not fully accepting the children they had raised.

College has become more and come competitive over the years, but it is still a learning institution. It’s a place where students learn from their mistakes, where they take various courses sometimes not knowing which career path they will follow. Much like my friend with the second child, I wanted the parents of these kids to let them go. Let them cry, fall, or even miss out on the scholarship knowing that is was a learning experience for both the parent and student.

For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him. Genesis 18:19

God teaches us that is we raise our kids his way they will not falter. That if we teach them his word they will abide by him. As parents this is the most important aspect of being a parent, to be there to guide our children when they need us.

We want to know:

How do you teach your children to live a Christian life?

How do you allow your children to learn without being overbearing?

leslyicdigitalLet Your Kids Fall
read more

Your Marriage Is Not God’s Marriage

No comments

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

My friend loves his dog. A year ago when he first received it he bombarded his friends with random pictures of him holding the German Shepherd. He took videos of the puppy running across his bedroom. He talked constantly about how healthy the food he was feeding the dog was. He took vacations with him, took him to the veterinarian, and reminded us all that he was is “comrade”.

The only problem was his real comrade was at home, often making dinner, doing laundry, and picking up after him while he was picking up after his dog. His true comrade was his wife and while it seemed easier to blame him for a strained marriage, the truth is they both had stopped communicating with each other.

Sure, he seemed affectionate. He thanked her always for cleaning, cooking, and doing the laundry. He sometimes helped, doing dishes after dinner or running her water for a bath. She would laugh at how often he spent with the dog yet wonder why tasks weren’t complete in the house. Why the car oil light still blinked, why the closet door he promised to fix was still off the hinge… Why he spent so much time with that stupid dog.

He too had a mental list of her short comings, like the time he asked her to join him for the work appreciation banquet, how she had insisted on staying home and completing the chores.

Unfortunately, my friend and his wife didn’t realize that their frustrations came from not communicating. It came from not speaking each other’s love language. My friend was so attached to his dog because it was (willingly or unwillingly) spending time with him. His love language after all was Quality Time. His wife on the other hand found herself resenting him for not understanding that her love language was Acts of Service.

My friend’s marriage represents the importance of communicating with your spouse.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… Ephesians 5:25

Both my friend and his wife had different ideas of what marriage meant. Submission for his wife meant making sure the house was well kept and for him loving his wife meant thanking her and showing affection. However, true love requires us to look away from our own interpretation and understand that God’s love is about communicating. After all, God speaks to us on a daily basis. He too wants us to communicate with him, to place our fears and heartache at his feet while reminding ourselves of how far he has brought us.

My friend found out that from the Five Love Languages, his love language is Quality Time and his wife was speaking her love language, which is Acts of Service. He realized that what made his wife happiest was when he did chores around the house, when he helped her with the upkeep of the house. In return, she started to spend time with him, take hikes with the dog and plan adventures outside of the house together.

Beyond learning each other’s love language my friend reminds us often that he is always learning. That to become one (as husband and wife) requires unity in all aspects of life, from co-parenting to making big purchases. The selflessness that comes with communication requires him to always seek God’s guidance as the head of the house- to be led by the Holy Spirit. This simply means that he must always be obedient to God.

He has learned the importance of spending time with his wife, remembering that he had to spend time in God’s presence to know him. When he thinks of loving his wife the way Christ loved the church he realizes the importance of understanding her, of knowing her, and protecting her. This is the love he now seeks. A love that goes beyond his own expectations and ideals, but rather focuses on a Christ centered home. A love that requires him to let go of “his marriage” and focus on the marriage God has for him.

We Want to Know:

How are you keeping Christ at the center of your marriage?

How have you grown as a Christian since getting married?

leslyicdigitalYour Marriage Is Not God’s Marriage
read more

Does Your Tongue Need Healing?

No comments

Does Your Tongue Need Healing? by Derek Prince is one of the books for this month and from people’s reactions, I could tell that Heb. 4:12 is about to have a new and personal meaning in many lives!

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to the dividing of the soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

We may look all neat and polished but when the word of God hits us we cannot deny it’s power. So you don’t curse and honestly you think you’re very polite. This book will help you understand that that’s not all there is in this race. It is about death or life. What you feed on settles in your heart and it will, at some point be expressed. The tongue will easily do this for you. Have you ever had one of those ‘oops moments’? That awkward moment when you say (out loud) what you really think (in the presence of a number of people). Yes! Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and you cannot speak without your tongue.

I am so eager to find out what my problem is and the steps to take toward my healing. Won’t you join me? Sign up for the Read To Grow (R2G) program at the BCC NEXT Resource Center and let us take the next step in Christ.

leslyicdigitalDoes Your Tongue Need Healing?
read more

Bring Goliath Down! The Principles

No comments

The story in 1 Samuel 17 is very interesting. For 40 days, everyday; morning and afternoon, Goliath came out to intimidate them but no one in the Israelite army came up to challenge him.

David had been anointed already but he wasn’t yet in the army – he was still tending sheep. When he took food to his brothers, he spotted opportunity.

“Don’t worry about this Philistine,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight him!” 1 Samuel 17:32 NLT

And of course you know that the Lord did deliver David.

Though Goliath is dead, his brothers are still alive coming to intimidate us to inactivity and we must call them out by name. What is it that has been taunting you? You must call it out by name!

Principles David used to bring Goliath down

You will win over the issues affecting you life negatively by following these principles that David used.

1. Faithfulness in the little tasks. 1 Samuel 17:17. Even though he was anointed to be king when he was sent on menial errands, he was faithful to go.

Can you be counted on to do the little tasks of life? Can you be trusted to do the small duties in the church?

David knew that faithfulness is never in vain. 1 Samuel 17:26-28.

Did you know that there is a reward for you for being faithful to your call? Did you know that there is a reward for you for conquering sin and addiction in your life?

2. David won the fight against Goliath when he took the first step toward the giant. Your victory in bringing down that sin or that taunting issue is in your taking the first step. You will never win a fight that you have not started.

Be faithful to your tasks in Christ and you will bring defeat sin and all the troublesome issues in your life. In addition to the victory, you will be rewarded.

God bless you!

leslyicdigitalBring Goliath Down! The Principles
read more

7 Keys To A Great Marriage (Part One)

No comments

The Kingdom of God is a kingdom of keys; if you know the keys to a particular blessing you then receive it. Jesus told Peter, …

19 And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. – Matthew 16:19KJV

When you have a key, you have knowledge. Knowledge is key and is power.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. – Psalm 127:1KJV

Key #1

Listening to God is vital, flowers and dinners notwithstanding. God is the corner stone to any marriage and it is important to ask the following question: “What does God say about this situation?”

Every marriage that breaks has either two people not hearing from God or one person very adamant to the will of God. Your spouse has the ability to anger you but you have the responsibility to listen to God.

Key #2

Agreement between spouses is key to longevity.

3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? – Amos 3:3KJV

You can be going in the same direction but if you’re not in sync, in unison then the marriage will crumble.

Agree on parenting

Agree on spending

Agree on how to treat guests, parents etc

Agreement means we are on the same team.

Live with one another with understanding so that your prayers cannot be hindered. (See 1 Peter 3:7). Did you know that where there is unity God commands His blessing?

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; 3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. – Psalm 133:1-3KJV

It is important that spouses be in unity. When the Bible says that “Man shall leave his father and mother…” this is to say that the bond between husband and wife is stronger than the one any spouse has with their father or mother; and because it is so, therefore no man should put asunder.

Key #3

Communication! This is what oxygen is to the body. A good marriage is seen by your communication. Listen to your spouse and when you are talking; be sure your spouse is listening.

I shall be posting the second part of this message meanwhile stay under the blessing of God and may your marriage continue growing strong.

leslyicdigital7 Keys To A Great Marriage (Part One)
read more

7 Keys To A Great Marriage (Part Two)

No comments

Marriage is under attack and if you don’t take is seriously, in the coming days you might face an attack and you won’t know how to handle it.

If you missed it, I strongly recommend that you check out Part One of this message, so we can flow together.

Marriage is not an extension of another family unit but the birth of a new unit. This is how God does it:

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. – Genesis 2: 21-24KJV

In that scripture, God is the one who is joining this couple. When two people are entering marriage, God expects that they will give up something in order to be able to take up another. Sadly, we’re in a generation that wants to receive the most for the least possible effort. Nevertheless, the Word of God doesn’t change with the changing generations. Therefore you must understand that before you leave, you cannot cleave. The Bible is very clear about that.

Key #4

When you enter marriage, you must be fully invested and committed. You must give your life to it totally – like a pig. A pig doesn’t just give part of itself; it gives it’s all. A cow can decide to give only milk. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Commitment means you are giving something. Marriage is not bondage; it’s a time of bonding.

Every marriage has an empty box given by God into which the couple has to make deposits every so often. Reciprocity makes a great marriage. You give up choices and you’re cemented together.

Key #5

Marriages are not sustained by prayer but by principles.

Unconditional love from husbands toward their wives:

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7KJV

Sacrificial love:

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians 5:21-25KJV

The husband sets the temperature in his house. Christ loved the church even when they didn’t respect Him and forgiveness is the settling of accounts. Men should show leadership in the home; not muscle and money

19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. – Colossians 3:19KJV

Key #6

Wives respect your husbands. Submission and respect are two different things but the Lord requires both in a successful marriage.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. – Ephesians 5:33KJV

Key #7

Know how to relate with third parties. Important to remember is this: You will never be unfaithful to your spouse with a person you’ve never been in a relationship with. Beware!

May the Lord keep you and cause His face to shine upon you even as you use these keys.
 

leslyicdigital7 Keys To A Great Marriage (Part Two)
read more

7 Things You Must Do To Make Irreversible Movement Forward (Part 1)

No comments

In life one can move backward. Even though you fix your gaze on yesterday, you can never live in the past again. Even though you’re captured by the events of the past, that is already gone.

Here are some types of backward movements:
Wandering – this is not going in circles but moving everywhere. You have movement with no sense of direction – not moving forward.
Stagnation – this is mark timing. You still wake up when other people wake up but there’s no progress forward.
Movement in cycles/circles – this is moving around what is familiar. Here, the devil sets you in patterns that you can’t break out from.

Important to note also is that there are people who make movement forward that is reversible. This movement forward is when you use your own effort or smarts without God.

God wants us to progress forward, irreversibly.
What can you do to have this irreversible progress?

#1. Put God first before your own goals. Anything you do without God will fall apart! Man makes plans but it is God’s purpose that stands. (Proverbs 19:21)

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. – Psalm 127:1-2KJV

In all your plans you must talk to God first. You must involve God in your plans for the New Year. You must write down your plans and lay them before God for correction. It is better to see red ink on your paper today than to be humiliated later.

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. – Proverbs 3:5-7KJV

#2. You must have a clear mental picture of where you’re going. You must have an aim otherwise you’ll be aimlessly wondering. When you’re taking a road trip, turning on the GPS and entering the relevant details will show you the road to your destination. Your imagination is your God-given ability to focus on a goal and draw out a picture. 18 Where there is no vision, the people perish… – Proverbs 29: 18aKJV. We must live a victorious life here on earth. God told Abraham that he’ll be a father of many nations…like the stars. (Genesis 15:5). That is a mental picture!

You must have a prophetic vision bound in God because your vision is as closest as you can get to your future before you actually get there.

…Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. – Habakkuk 2:2-3KJV

Visions are for the future. If you see more then you need to write more, revise it and enlarge it. Write it down!

In the first year of Belshazzar king of Babylon Daniel had a dream and visions of his head upon his bed: then he wrote the dream, and told the sum of the matters. – Daniel 7:1KJV

#3. Schedule your purpose. Have dates and time frames for which you should accomplish them. Schedule your dream and it will become a goal.

We continue with this message here. Meanwhile remember to put God first in all you do.

You are blessed!
 

leslyicdigital7 Things You Must Do To Make Irreversible Movement Forward (Part 1)
read more